May 2010
8 posts
finding happy now
i just shamelessly ate two hot dogs with a bit of ketchup, about to take a sip of my melted ice iced coffee, and smoke the rest of 2 butts i found in my cousin’s astray. i’m grateful for my life because i know i’ll be happier someday and i’ve been through the shittiest shit before and i know i’ll pull through.
but right now, i’m okay and i’m okay with...
welp
I’m happier in life. I smoke cigarettes like crazy, but that’s what I do when I’m lonely. I can actually go cold turkey, I just have sort of “fuck it” attitude right now which is okay because it doesn’t last too long. I lost a bit of weight, which is so amazing to me cus I’m not working out as hard as I should, mostly walking, drinking water instead of...
threw myself in the shower
after i got out i wanted to curl up in a ball and sob on the cold floor because of the strength it took to do just that. in a way i was proud of myself for not rotting in my bed longer than a day because that would’ve just been nasty. i wont let depression take over me. fine, i’m depressed since 1998. i’ll probably always feel the black cloud over me but i won’t let it kill...
don't read. it's depressing.
i’m heartbroken. haven’t eaten, i dont remember the last thing i ate. i can’t sleep. i smoke a lot of cigs. i’ll stop when my lungs hurt again.
my sister is married. everyone has a significant other. getting educated, making money. falling in love and making babies, moving into their own apartments. i’m here stuck in life watching everyone grow happier. i’m in...
